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never rest on your laurels.

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Rising from depression / social anxiety / negativity

Posted by nitrile - July 28th, 2015


lit. "pulling away, being confined."

Japanese term to refer to the phenomenon of reclusive individuals who have chosen to withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement. 

Hey guys, unusual personal post, but I think it needs to be addressed because it's important to me and I think it could help someone who might be experiencing the same things. Basically, I used to be a hikikomori. I was mildly depressed and misanthropic. I rarely left my house for several years and the effects of that voluntary isolation still impact me today. However, I'm lot better than I was a couple years ago.  

If you can relate, don't give into the idea that this will last forever. It doesn't. It may reoccur through out your life on occasion, but that's just something you have to learn to deal with. It sucks, but think of it this way. You'll be stronger for it. People who don't have to go through this shit don't get that kind of opportunity. Use it to your advantage.

There were points where I believed I wouldn't wake up the next day because I just didn't have the mental leverage to pull myself out of the psychological pit I dug myself into, but I always knew I had a purpose. I just had to figure out what it is, and honestly that search is what's keeping me alive. Find something. Anything. You can't reverse death so don't fucking go down that road. 

The solution will vary from person to person, but here's what helped me:

-I landed a job that was convenient, not too stressful, and put enough money in my pocket. I live pretty frugally.

-I started weight training, improving my diet and overall health habits. Drank more water, slept 7-9 hrs everday, etc.

-I focused on my hobbies and I continue to try new ones. 

-I talk to new people for the hell of it. Do it when you have the energy to spare. If you're like me, social interaction can be very draining unless you feel particularly well that day. That's why it's important to take care of your body. I feel most social at the gym, even if it's after a long day at work. 

-I'm taking in pride in my appearance. 

-Make goals that support the things you want to achieve in life.

-Surround yourself with the people you want to be like. I spend time around people that are positive, funny, chill, motivated, and know their shit. They rub off on you eventually. 

-Spend time with children and pets. It's really difficult not to smile when you're around them. The well behaved ones anyway. 

-Meditate/create a zen place. Whenever I feel like shit, as I'm falling asleep, I go to a peaceful place I've created in my mind. Use your imagination. You can have whatever you want. Make that universe and visit it when you need to.

-Fap when it's truly necessary. Don't waste time fapping unless you really need the mental clarity. 

-I travel as often as I can. Even if it's just a new location within your city. Just get out of the goddamn house!

-Venting. Find someone you can talk shit with or go online and vent. Just get it off your chest.

-Burned bridges. Unfortunately, some people are like cancer. You got to cut them off. It's nothing personal. You just don't have time to tolerate bullshit. 

-Stopped comparing myself to others. I've found that even the folks who seem like they've got it good are fucked up in some way. They've got their hustle and you have yours. Don't let jealously or envy rob you of your time.

-Be self-centered. I'm not saying be an asshole, but remember that you are all you have. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. 

-Don't harbor negative thoughts. People are going to try to fuck with you, even when you're kind to them. We're all fucked up in some way. It's part of being human. Just let it go and move on to more important shit.

If none of this works, you really need to find a specialist who gives a shit about you and can help you. Fortunately, my problems stemmed from unhealthy behaviors (both phsyical and mental) that are entirely in my control so I could correct them with discipline and hard work. Don't get overwhelmed by the idea of having to do all this. Just start somewhere.

A lot of this shit we worry about isn't that big of a deal. Just fucking try to live life and see how it plays out. Maybe a couple years from now, things will be a lot better than you could have imagined. I sure as hell never thought I'd be doing all the shit I'm doing now.

If you have any questions or comments, send me a pm. I'll get to it when I'm not obsessing over tank boy or whatever trap I've created at the moment.